@ Wednesday, November 30, 2011

On Wednesday we met with H, who I haven't seen since before mid-yrs, for dinner. In the afternoon we went to the city, starting with dessert, we bought macaroons from Lindt, H wanting hot chocolate I recommended KoKo, and then we went for a walk along the Yarra, till they started the flames.

Belgian Hot Chocolate 5.95 & Iced Chocolate 7.75

Koko Black. H had the hot one, and I had the iced. We both enjoyed the drinks. I loved the ice chocolate, but perhaps it was too chocolate-ty? We soon found out that chocolate + pizza = sick. Agreed we'd return in the future to try other offers.

Panned Pizza

Poutine with Gravy and Cheese & Half Margarita/BBQ Chicken

We enjoyed the poutine, but sadly like last time could not finish it. Perhaps it would be better if we had a choice of different sauces/dips for it? The pizza was better than it looked. Sadly it was better last time. Since then they have changed the base, to something crispy, hard and a tad bit chewy. Disappointing - that or we went on a bad day.

After dinner, being daylight/"spring/summer" and not feeling so well (H had only one slice, and we got the rest take away) from sometimes food overdose, we went for a walk, in the gardens and along the Yarra, while H told told stories of our younger days, of which I have little recollection of. One of the most interesting thing he spoke of was of a shy (or quiet) asian girl we knew, who rarely spoke, who went nuts O.o

Macaroons! I want these at our (not H & I btw) wedding. These are amazing, sadly they're $3 a piece. I recall a time when they were 2.20 and that was only last year! We have to learn how to make these one day. H had the 70% coco and I had the vanilla, they were fantastic. The only con is the price.

Yum Cha @ Sunday, November 27, 2011

I love Yum Cha. But the service ranges, from places that are student hotspots with no service to places on the Docklands which are great - we're you're in a suit. Currently looking for a yum cha place for dinner/late afternoon on a weekday, and to try something other than Shark Fin. My favourites:

Steamed Rice Noodle Rolls with Prawns or Ha Cheong

Prawn/Scallop Dumplings

Prawn Dumplings or har gow

At the moment it looks like we're going to Orient Express, Docklands. Not exactly yum cha, more of a sushi train - but they do have a few baskets including prawn & scallop. Menu It looks around $25 on average (3 dishes + dessert + drink).

Day 5 - Night MU & Etiquette @ Friday, November 25, 2011

Day 5 - Night MU, Hair & Etiquette

Night Make-Up & Hair
Same as day MU, but with darker eye shadows e.g. smokey eye. For hair it was Audrey's hairstyle, a mushroom bun, how to use the straighting/curling wand and rollers.

- how to order at restaurants
- wine (tip from the girl in hotel man.: the 2nd cheapest wine is the worst)
- hosting dinner parties
- how to use chop sticks (only the asian girl could use them XD)
- how to set a table + what to use & when
- eating bread & butter
- fun table centerpiece challenge
It was good, but we could have done more... Refer to L is for Lady, it would have been better if they covered more stuff in the book.

After class we had a photo shoot with the theme of positive relationships, my theme was 'the graduate' - probs cause my casual is what others classify as corporate. Props: toy heart, whiteboard, book, mortarboard (is that really a prop?). We did want to do some jumping shoots, but as the floor was covered in paper (part of the bg) my heels might have made a hole in it XD.

Went to Krispy Kreme for a dozen of their original glazed donuts ^^. They're prefect, light, soft and fluffy, and sweet but not to sweet. I ate 3 (so far...).

Day 4 - Wardrobe & Job Interviews @ Thursday, November 24, 2011

Day 4 - Wardrobe & Job Interviews

- types of dress e.g. casual, white/black tie, meh.
- body shapes + what to wear/not wear
- site for inspiration e.g. lookbook
- where to shop (mainly overpriced places + a few 2nd hand shops)
- list of essentials (prac)

Disappointing. All the stuff we did (minus the inspiration) bit I can get online. What would have been better would be to identify colours that suit each person, and then create outfits (through catalogues, websites, or even better would be to have a day on it, and have a shopping excursion).

A traveling wardrobe - pre-vacuum bag.

Lunch was a bit more fascinating, with a protest/petition going on outside. Health care workers want more funding, especially the country people - who came from the country to the city just for this. They decided to make a stage and do that thing protesters do in the streets (preventing trams from going there), then they marched to Parliament. I got a good spot to watch it from, behind me where photographers (with DSLRs) and next to me was a cop. Some of the protest people were asking for donations, and he donated. There were around 10 cops, and the media (though I didn't see any) and a few helicopters flying/hovering above.

Job Interviews
- what to wear/not to wear
- how to make a very comprehensive resume
- questions, recommended to make a notebook of Qs&As

Day 3 - Health & Wellbeing, and Day MU @ Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Day 3 - Health & Wellbeing, and Day MU

Health & Wellbeing
- self-esteem (mags & ps) + influences "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
- nutrients, protective nutrients, ref to health textbook
- moving it. exercise...

Day Make-Up
Doesn't really appeal to me... as whenever MU is required there is always a MUA.
Layer upon layer, don't touch it, try on clothes or put your face against anything. "We" (class ex. me - as I'm so very allergic to MU/skin care stuff) used...
1. cleaner
2. toner
3. moisturizer
4. sunscreen
5. concealer
6. foundation
7. bronzer
8. blusher
9. eye shadow base
10. eye shadow
11. eye liner (liquid/pencil)
12. mascara
13. lip stick
Looking for a guide? Google is your friend.

Day 2 - Small Talk & Nail Care @ Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Day 2 - Small Talk, Voice & Nail Care

There isn't much to say other than small talk (inc complimenting) was meh, and I was disappointed with the nail care. We learnt the basics (filing, moisturize, massage cuticles + pushing them back) but not much else. I was hoping we'd learn how to do the perfect french manicure, how to paint nails (which I fail at, it clumps and is too thick, or I touched something) and how to use those stamping plates. Because I play sport and music, and type, I find it's hard to have crazy long nails, plus it drives me crazy, so I always have short nails. I prefer either red or just a simple french mani (though I've never achieve it, even with the entire kit). Because I haven't gotten a chance to shop for a new hand cream yet, they've been neglected and a bit scary - but I am going to go to go shopping tomorrow, to try out some.

We started by making a list of characteristics of people with nice voices, famous and not. My fav voice would have to be Kelly Sheridan aka Barbie (though after the Mermaid Tale, she was replaced *sad*). And Mark Hidreth (Stefan in Rapunzel, Daniel in Swan Lake & Dominic in Princess Pauper), he has such an amazing voice. Except in the Tudors where he plays a Cardinal, and PoTc. and  For my real life example, it was mr health - who is an amazing communicator. We listed the things that made us like them e.g. emotion/enthusiasm, positive and pretty much sometimes you can hear a smile.


Vocal habits to avoid:
Shrill or whining tone
Loud dominating tone
Too soft timid tone
Monotonous pitch

Speech habits to avoid:
Talking too fast and slurring words together
Lack of enunciation
Slang phrases
Filler sounds - uh, um, you know, like
Use of off color language or swear words

Make a list of the poor vocal and speech habits you need to work on to correct. Then start listening to yourself as you talk during the day. Become more aware of what you are saying and how you are saying it. It also helps to listen to others around you and privately analyze their vocal patterns. You'll soon learn to "hear" and start to naturally correct your poor speech habits.

The best way to work on improving your voice and speech is to read aloud. Choose a quiet time and a private space. Choose reading material that requires discriminative thinking and the full use of your imagination. Try classic poetry or Shakespeare.

Small Talk

Here's a guide to small talk. Small talk is just buff to me, a filler, not really satisfying. Here's an interesting article on The Blandness of Theological Small Talk, where the author says conversation needs 4 things:

1. Unique identities. - everyone is valuable and contributes something meaningful    
2. Owned perspectives. everyone needs to have a perspective on the issue(s) a
3. Respectful pushback. - need to push back if I think you’re wrong or misdirected on some point. 
4. Teachability. - all parties are looking to learn something.

Four ways to create more rewarding conversations:
By Matthais Mehl of the University of Arizona
1. Dare to disclose - involve some personal disclosure. reveal something about yourself
2. Be a full participant - Give your full attention to the person you're talking to
3. Find common ground
4. Embrace your environment - one-on-one or in a group

10 Big Rules of Small Talk

1. Do your homework. Know a little bit about the people you will be meeting before you meet them. This will help you to discuss topics that you know are of interest to them.

2. Greet people appropriately. A first impression really matters, so make it count!

3. Remember names. People subconsciously love to hear their own name. By adding it into a conversation, you will appear much more engaged.

4. Don’t hold back. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and really get to know the person that you are conversing with. This is the only way that you may meet a life long friend.

5. Draw the other person out. Allow the other person to talk freely. Ask questions in order to draw out their side of the conversation.

6. When in doubt, discuss the setting. This is a go to topic that is much more original than the weather.

7. Revive a dying conversation. Look for ways to bring in another person or an interesting subject matter as soon as you see the first signs of a dying conversation.

8. Make proper introductions. When introducing someone, use their full name, a short summary and how you know them. You will not only seem polite, but this type of introduction will create new topics to discuss in the conversation.

9. Diffuse unpleasant situations. Always have an escape excuse ready in case the situation becomes horribly unpleasant. “Excuse me, I need to use the restroom,” is an ancient but classic exit.

10. Make a clean getaway. When you decide that the conversation is finished, explain your reason for leaving, state it was great to meet them, and exit; swiftly!

Great picture. Classic topic: the weekend. Note: the months are for Americans, as we have white snowy winters, and hot Julys - as a oppose to in Australia, with Santa in the backyard BBQing and trips to the beach in the Christmas break.

Nail Care

Here's the guide. You'll need:
  • double-sided emery board (glass is best)
  • old pair of pantyhose
  • 4 way buffer
  • cuticle softener
  • orange stick (made from the orange tree)
  • cotton balls/buds & np remover
  • warm bowl of water
  • towel (not wet wipes)
  • nail recovery/strength "nail polish"
  • top/bottom coats
  • nail polish (rec: Revlon)

Day 1 - Communication @ Monday, November 21, 2011

Day 1 - Deportment & Communication
  • Handshakes
  • Introducing People
  • Conversation

1. Begin With an Oral Introduction of Yourself
Before extending your hand (aim for the webs to contact), introduce yourself. Extending your hand should be part of an introduction, not a replacement for using your voice.

1.5 give a firm shake with right hand and use the left hand to touch them on the shoulder or elbow region (optional)

2. Look the person in the eyes - long enough to know what colour their eyes are and SMILE!
look down = shy, nervous and even untrustworthy. Avoiding = done something wrong and feels ashamed/ guilty.

3. Pump Your Hand Only 2-3 Times

4. Shake From Your Elbow

5. Do Not Use a Forceful Grip, but use a firm grip
Imagine you are opening a door handle and use about the same level of grip in your handshake.

soft grip = weak of character or not really interested in the person with whom you are shaking hands.
firm grip = confidence, strength and enthusiasm.
bone crushing grip = arrogance/dominance

6. Avoid Offering a “Fish Hand”.

7. Forget “Lady Fingers”
Extend your entire hand, and be sure to grasp using your entire hand as well. Just fingers is awkward.

One Hand is Better than Two
shake with the right hand
two hands = intrusive, and too personal. It's called the “politician’s shake,” because it appears artificially friendly when used on people you barely know.

Shaking a Sweaty Hand
try not immediately wipe your hands
discretely wipe them on something after you are out of sight, and wash them later.

- the way you shake hands speaks volumes about who you are as a person
- indication of a person’s depth of character, trustworthiness and strength.
- says much more than saying “hello”. says “this is who I am“.

Types of Handshakes

Img from a Allan/Barabra Pease Book.
This img is about dominance.
3rd one is the best cause it's share of power, not dominant or submissive.

Introducing People

The 3 Rules:
1. A man is always presented to a woman first - this means, "Ms x, I'd like you to meet Mr y"
2. Younger person is always presented to an older person. "Mr. Older, may I present Miss Teenager."
3. Business status. Present the person lower stat to higher e.g. "Ms. Boss, may I present our new employee, Bob." (Business is gender neutral)

Starting a Conversation - comes after being self-introduced
X: Hi y, I'm x *shakes hands*
Y: Nice to meet you x, I'm y
X/Y: Topic starter - try for an open ended Q. Note: the weather is only an ok topic if it's random
e.g. So how do you know [the host]?

Starting a Conversation - after being introduced by another
Host: x I'd like you to meet y. Y, x loved [a book/play/topic/film] too

1. Repeat their name right after they say it
2. Use it again at some point
3. Use it a 3rd time when saying goodbye


1. Assume your conversational responsibilities. (if you're the host)
On any guest list, be sure to include one or two friends you can rely on to keep the conversational ball rolling. Ask others of their opinons on the topic to get them involved.
Go around introducing people, but also add something mutual about them to get them talking.
If your party evolves into an assortment of small groups, be that social butterfly that flits from group to group, starting new topics, engaging quiet or shy guests, and finessing the spotlight away from a conversation hog.
If you are a guest, be prepared to follow your hostess' lead. Better still, circulate on your own, joining and talking with everyone present at the party.

2. Starting a Conversation & Have Something Interesting to Say
If lost, ask how they know the host.

Good Topics:
- weather (only of it's random, not seasonal)
- current non-controversal issues
- popular books (no Twilight!)
- music/film
- events (things to do)
- travel

Don't talk about:
- sex (the exception of very close friends)
- politics
- money
- where they're from (not ok most of the time)

3. Develop Creative Listening Skills
listen and take notes of interesting points that bring up questions or comments, when it's your turn to talk - reflective listening
ask Qs or make comments that reflects what they said e.g. "I love x too, I find it so invigerating..."

4. Good Manners of Conversation

a. No Speeches or Monologues.
Ask someone else for his opinion, change the subject, or move from one group to another.

b. No Foreign Languages. - You're in America, speak English!
the exception is if you have a guest who does not speak English. In this instance, you should speak in his or her language and translate for the benefit of others, or speak in English but translate for the guest who does not speak it.

c. No Guest Left Out.
Involve everyone in your group in the conversation. Be sure to include late arrivals by bringing them up-to-date.

d. No Attacks on Anything!
e.g. religion, politics, gay marriage
The exceptions: Twilight & Rebecca Black XD

e. No Strong Statements on Moral or Ethical Questions.
The same reasons hold true here as for rule 4. Nothing should be said in any group which could offend any member of that group.

f. Body Language
  • give the speaker your full attention. though there are exceptions e.g. the speaker is a friend, and you're texting your mom to pick you up
  • leave the phone alone
  • don't play with things, esp lighters and candy wrappers, I'm talking about you jas
  • face the speaker, show interest, lean towards them. positive body lang e.g. no folded arms (unless it's cold), palms up, try not to cross legs
  • psych shows that of you are interacting positively with someone, you tend to unconciously mirror their movements
Edit: Ignore the stupid spacing - it doesn't come up in edit mode.

Day 1 - Deportment @ Monday, November 21, 2011

Day 1 - Deportment & Communication 

deportment [dɪˈpɔːtmənt]
the manner in which a person behaves, esp in physical bearing
[from French déportement, from Old French deporter to conduct (oneself)
  • Good Posture
  • Standing
  • Walking
  • Sitting
  • Getting (in*/)out of a car
  • Stairs*
  • Entering & Leaving*
  • Picking Things Up*
  • Handbags & Gloves*
*means we didn't learn it in class (or maybe not yet)

Good Posture means...
- Head erect with chin parallel to the floor. Feel the coat hanger
- Shoulders back and dropped into a relaxed position.
- Chest high.
- Stretch long through the waist with stomach in. Don't let your weight settle down on your hips.
- Tuck buttocks under by tipping the pelvis slightly forward and up.
- Knees relaxed, not locked.
- Elbows slightly bent, palms turned in.

- Stand up tall, like you have a coat hanger inside your top, holding your body vertically.
- Suck in your stomach and ass, puff out your chest (but not too much, you aren't a gorilla XD).
- Chin up, but not too much
- Smile

- Place your feet about 2 inches apart. Place the toe of the right foot even with the left arch.
- Rest most of the body weight on the front (left) foot.
- Raise heel of right foot so that only the ball of the foot is on the floor. Bend right knee slightly.
- Rotate right heel in toward the left foot until it is at a 45° angle. The heel of your left foot is now almost touching your right instep.
- Shift your weight comfortably back onto your right foot so that both feet support you. Your weight should be evenly distributed on both hips.
- Check to see  hips are turned slightly in the direction  right foot is pointing.
- Keep your shoulders and head facing forward.

If you prefer, reverse the above steps so that your right foot is in front. One side will feel more comfortable than the other, but practice both so you can change your stance from time to time when standing for long periods.

Arms- Always keep your elbows in close to your sides. Press the forearm of one arm lightly against your waist with palm up and fingers relaxed. Allow your other arm to hang freely at your side.
- Or extend both forearms gracefully across the waist, resting the thumb of one hand in the palm of the other. Curve your fingers into a relaxed position.
- Thirdly, you can allow both arms to hang easily at your sides with your wrists just brushing the body.

- Same as standing, but you're moving
- Chin up, look ahead, not down
- Don't pound the pavement - lift your feet, try to float
- Note: the noise is 95% the heels, and 5% you

- Lift your thigh slightly. Don't lead with your shoulders.
- For a feminine walk, the space between your steps should be about the length of your foot. Too long a stride is masculine, too short is mincing.
- On each step your heel should touch the floor first, then quickly shift the weight forward to the entire foot as you take the next step. Keep your feet close to the ground when you lift them.
- Arms should hang relaxed at your sides with palms toward the thighs as they swing forward to the front of your body. Shoulders should be relaxed and elbows close to your sides.
- Keep your toes pointed straight ahead and place your feet directly to the side of an imaginary line running down the center.

1. Approach the chair holding your best posture. Turn so your back leg brushes against the chair seat.
2. Slide one foot back 2-3 inches under the chair seat.
3. Lower yourself into the seat keeping your head erect and your back straight. Most of your weight should be carried by the thigh of your back leg.
4. Ease down into the seat gracefully...don't flop.
5. For deeper seats or upholstered chairs where you can't slip your foot under, sit as above but on the edge of the seat. When seated, lift your weight slightly and slide back.

While seated, arrange your legs at a slight angle. Cross your legs at the ankles or knees. Rest your hands in your lap, palms up. (remember palms shows openness)

To rise from a sitting position, simply reverse the above steps. Lift yourself gracefully in one easy motion letting your back leg muscle do the work. Don't push up using the chair arms.

- mini skirt, sit a bit more forward in the chair to keep your knees discreetly covered
- full skirt, place your hand behind you and grasp the center back of the skirt. Bring the skirt out to one side before you sit down

Getting out of a Car

Getting In:
1. Stand close to the car facing the same direction the car is pointing.
2. Place the foot nearest the car on a line just in front of the seat, and the outside foot one step forward.
3. Lower yourself with your weight carried on your thigh muscles until your head is clear of the car roof and sit on the outer edge of the seat.
4. Swing your knees to the front and bring your feet inside the car.
5. Arrange your skirt.

Getting Out:
1. Lift your derriere slightly off the seat and straighten your skirt, pulling it gracefully to cover your knees.
2. Slide to the outer edge of the seat, knees together.
3. Place the foot that is nearest the door on the curb, bending the other leg at the same time to keep the knees close together.
4. Step out with the other foot and lift yourself from a sitting position with your thigh muscles, keeping your back straight.

Up & Down the Stairs
1. Balance is key. Use your best posture. Don't bend your head to look at the stairs. Glance down with your eyes only.
2. Don't lead with your head. Move with your body erect, head up, weight on the back foot and placing your full weight on the front foot as the torso comes over it.
3. Place your entire foot on the step without letting your heel hang over the edge. (step diagonally on the step)
4. Take your time!
5. On narrow stairs, place your feet sideways.
6. When getting on buses, trains, etc., face in the direction the vehicle is moving and hold the handrail. Step up with your feet sideways on the steps.

If wearing a long dress/skirt, use both hands. Bend your knees slightly and grasp each side of the skirt a few inches above the knees. Lift the skirt until it is just above the ankles.

If it's tight e.g. mermaid tail, bend your knees and grasp the fabric of the skirt a few inches above the knee. Lift the skirt until it is just above your ankles and glide up or down the stairs

Entering & Leaving

1. Avoid bursting into a room. Hesitate for a moment in the doorway, compose yourself, and glance quickly around to note names, faces, and the environment. Before you step into the room, you should know where you are going and to whom you will be speaking.
2. Smile.
3. If there is a door, grasp the knob with your hand. If the door opens into the room to the right, use your right hand, and vice versa. Keep your arm straight and open the door as you walk forward. Step sideways and reach behind you with the opposite hand to grab the inner door knob. Step backwards to close the door without turning your back on the room.

1. Leave a good impression. Smile.
2. If there is a door, walk up with your back to the door, reach behind and grasp the knob. Straighten your arm and walk forward opening the door behind you. Step to the side, grasp the outer knob and back out of the room, pulling the door closed.

Picking Things Up
When bending to pick up objects, keep your back straight and bend from the knees.
Keep your head up. - not only graceful (and there's no opp for anyone to stare at your ass), it protects your back from injury.

Don't carry your handbag under your arm like a football, as this can ruin the lines of your dress.
Don't carry your handbag down by your side with your arm fully extended, as this can not only bump your leg repeatedly, but also become an obstacle for passers-by.

slip your hand through the handle from the outside and let the handle rest on your wrist.
Turn your palm up with fingers relaxed.
Place your wrist lightly against your waist so the purse rests on the flat of your hip.

hold the bottom of the bag in your hand, resting it on the length of your index and middle fingers.
Rest your hand against your hip, letting the bag relax to an angle.

Shoulder bag
rest the strap on your shoulder.
to stop bag from swinging when you walk, grasp the center of the front strap to hold it in place.
Don't push down on the top of the bag.
Don't slip the strap over your head and wear the bag criss-crossing the body.


How to put on gloves:
1. Slip your hand down the glove and gently ease it on by grasping the cuff.
2. If the gloves are snug, smooth the fingers on gently to avoid splitting the seams.
3. Never pull by the cuff, as this can stretch your glove. Instead smooth the glove with upward strokes from the fingers up the arm.
4. Never push between the fingers. Smooth the fingers with upward strokes until the glove is comfortable.

How to remove gloves:
1. Pull gently at the tip of each finger until you can hold the fingertips of the glove.
2. Grasp all the fingertips of the glove in the opposite hand and pull gently to ease your hand out.
3. Never grasp the cuff to pull your gloves off, as this will turn them inside out.

How to hold your gloves:
1. After removing your gloves, ease away any creases and reshape them.
2. Fold the thumb of each glove in and press the two gloves together, palms in, with fingertips and cuffs even.
3. With the cuff end facing out, fold the gloves over the side of your hand between the forefinger and thumb. Hold them in place with your thumb.
4. If the gloves are long, fold them in half lengthwise and place the folded part out, then hold between the forefinger and thumb.

@ Monday, November 21, 2011

Taking etiquette classes this week ^^ (think Ladette to Lady), fascinating but at the same time exhausting - that or it's just me and my anemia... The Rule: no backpacks :(, my shoulder is sore from dragging a tote around. Why can't a lady wear a backpack? Just because it doesn't look as cool as a handbag...

Books are great, some better than others, but in a way it's not the same as taking classes, as there's no one there to identify what it is that you're doing wrong. Hence I'd recommend you get the books and take a course, as with the courses there will pretty much never be comprehensive notes - that fishing quote is good here. If you give notes, then it's like a free ebook to an extent - why buy it? Hence there aren't amazing notes, like in some books. I haven't read very many, but my favourite so far is 'L for Lady', though I do believe it is out of print, like the guy version 'G is for Gentleman'. Hence the price? $25 O.O fortunately I picked it up at 'Dirt Cheap Books' (books in a warehouse $4-ish each on average) a few years ago for $4.

Don't judge a book by it's cover, proved very true in this case. Fortunately it's a book cover, you can take it off to reveal an orange cover - much more appropriate if you're going to have it in your handbag.

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