~ Curious Charlie ~

The End of a ...? @ Saturday, February 18, 2012

It's always interesting to have ~~coffee~~ mocha with an old friend (in this case it really does mean coffee, not in the context of "come back to my place for "coffee""). I find that whenever I see an old (past, in context) friend I realize how much things have changed, for better for worse. In this case it was for better. I met Ian at work a few years ago, and we both left after a year. And we saw each other (not in a disturbing to blog about way) for a while. Something happened - that I don't want to talk about -, only going to say that yes that charming guy you know is the murder (unless he's married with kids and two careers, and you can't figure out when he has time to do other stuff). We didn't talk for a year because of that something, ok, not true, I just didn't initiate conversation and he didn't either. The year we were kinda friends, he was one of my only friends (who was always around, same classes) because all my friends are at different colleges, when you travel a lot, you meet lots of different people.

A few weeks ago I called him, wanting to say goodbye and officially end it (which kinda worked out), and we set a date for coffee. And so came and went today, we met, had coffee, updates on life (for him: study, grad on tues, a yr of plays and books), and parted; and will probably never see each other again - which I'm fine with. Tying up loose ends. We need to move on, and this meeting for me was a confirmation that it's ok, the end of our undefined r'ship, and we're not mad/don't hate each other (because of that thing that happened). We start as strangers, and end up as acquaintances.

I know in a way it's not right to say this, but someone (lets call him Hector) I met this year really helped me with letting Ian go (I was very upset with what he did, and thought we were friends, but now it's just unknown, what we were exactly). That someone, Hector does get a lot of words on my blog, replaced Ian. Hector wasn't as open, we're not even remotely close in age (not young enough to be friends, but not old enough to be a parent/parent like-ish figure), but he was wonderful, yes Hector's that guy that everyone likes, but he's not the charmer who's the murderer. With Ian in a way I felt his charm was passive, whereas this guy is genuinely amazing, and actively friendly. Oh and he has not chance to do what Ian did/tried to do. Ian is gone, I'm fine with that. But unfortunately so is Hector (I once said one of my rules is that I don't get attached, I failed, and miss him very much), it does not suit us to continue communicating (what H calls a fishbowl/situational/contextual f/'ship) and so that's ended.